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This is for all the brides to be who are not blessed with the dance


My heart aches for you. You know who you are. The ladies who cannot even move without stomping on their fiancée’s toes. You have no sense of movement, rhythm, coordination and you’re not inclined in the art form called dancing. Which is fine for the most part, but if you’re like me and you have a wedding coming up and you’re expected to dance in front of dozens of people (mostly your family, friends and future in laws) well you’re screwed. Kinda like me.

And you don’t hear about them. You don’t see them. The brides to be who are not blessed with the dance. You see quite the opposite and especially in the movies. I grew up watching movies in which the groom to be is portrayed as a non-athletic non-artistic, buttoned down, stiffed bore who struggles even with the basic slow dance. Oh how I was lied to. How I was brainwashed by the evil Hollywood machinery. Women are terrible dancers too you guys, and I for one can’t dance for the life of me. I’m going to have to BE the buttoned down, non-athletic and stiff bore I was talking about. I’m going to have to take dancing lessons pretty soon and not my fiancée.

Martin (my fiancée) on the other hand is incredibly talented dancer. He and his older brother were competing in dance competitions when they were younger and I’m yet to discover those photos. Of him dressed in polyester pants and white T-Shirt clinching to some girl on the dance floor. He keeps them locked and hidden from me from fear of ridicule and overall embarrassment but I think they are endearing.

And in the occasions when we get to have a little dance (weather it’s in the privacy of our home or out in public) I’m constantly embarrassed by how tone deaf and terrible at dancing I really am. I’m thinking as a last resort to have a choreographed dance similar to the one Anna Kendrick and Jake Gyllenhaal did in End Of Watch. You know…. rocking out to Salt N Peppa’s Push it or to some Nicki Minaj song.

But if you’re looking for some inspiration for this particular problem (because I am to be honest) you can always turn to the movies that lied to us. I know, i know… But hear me out… Sure they portrayed unrealistic expectations and projected stereotypes about the both sexes… but if they get you in the mood and actually get you moving go right ahead and watch one. Weather it’s Shall we dance, or Hitch, or the dance in 500 days of summer…. Go ahead… At least they are fun and may actually motivate you to learn to dance and not make a fool of yourself at your wedding. For me… I’m going to stick with my home dance pro and look for inspiration there but a movie date/dance night can’t hurt right?


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