The One Thing That Morticia And Gomez Addams Taught Me About Relationships
Back when I was younger I was a cynic about love. I scoffed at rom coms, a looked down at romantic movies and I laughed at loud at every article that tried to promote them. My biggest pet peeve were the articles about Morticia and Gomez Addams… but I’ll get to them in a minute…
Let me first elaborate the origins of my cynicism. Growing up in a broken marriage, and with parents that were constantly fighting, bickering and being hostile to each other… not only I didn’t believe in love, I didn’t believe that I was capable of being in a loving and caring relationship. I thought that I was my destiny to continue the toxic thread of bad marriage and settle for a lifetime of misery and resentment.
And in my foolish naïve way I thought that opposites do attract. Since my parents were the polar opposites of practically everything (religiously, politically, societally and you know… everything else in between) I thought that that is the norm in every relationships. It’s better to have a partner that I completely different than you. Oh how I was wrong.
And to be fair, I thought that way until, the very moment I saw The Addams Family. I was in my early teens when I first saw the 1991 movie, and my first reaction about them was that they were too weird. That’s true.
But something clicked in me on my second viewing of the movie (several years later). Yes, on the surface they may appear weird, but underneath that gloom and darkness, lies one of the most loving, trusting and one of the strongest relationships I’ve seen. Yes, I’m very well aware that they’re fictional characters, but I learned a lot from them. They taught me so much, but the ONE thing that floats above the surface is the fact that the opposites never NEVER attract.
That phrase was apparently coined by some masochistic dumb ass who enjoyed being tortured on a daily basis by his/hers partner. And while I agree that some people do enjoy in those activities (masochism), I on the other hand DO NOT!
Think about it. Gomez and Morticia were similar in everything. In their appearance, in their values, in their courtship… Their sex life had similar likes and dislikes, their social life was similar, and they had similar character traits about everything else. They were passionate, they were a tight family unit, they were loyal to their friends and they had similarly relaxed parenting styles.
What more can you want in a partner?
Someone who will be there for you, someone who will be weird with you, someone who enjoys the same things as you and someone who has the same views on the big issues with you.
Opposites most certainly don’t attract. You may be attracted by someone that’s very different than you, but by the month 2-3 you’ll find yourself annoyed by him. You’ll want to punch him/her in a face. You’ll want to scream every time they want to go out and you just want to stay in and snuggle on the couch.
Not to mention that you want a partner that makes you feel like the most wonderful person in the world. Like you’re the only one in a crowded room. A partner who looks at you with lust, love and desire. It’s nice isn’t it?
So, yeah… Gomez and Morticia have the relationship I aspire to have. I’m not there yet, but with time… Yeah… me and Martin can become them ahaha….
Oh and you don’t mind… I’m gonna watch The Adams Family one more time… I can’t wait until Halloween.