Filmsane

More specifically one particular scene in Up in the Air.

Jason Reitman’s Up in the air is almost 10 years old movie. It’s a fantastic movie, and I saw it yesterday AGAIN. Haven’t seen it since it came out back in 2009, but I finally understood it. I had my Eureka moment at one particular scene and I finally had the courage to admit it. Oh and write it right after that of course, because… why having a blog if you’re not going to use it?.

I’m talking about the relationships scene at the airport. Anna Kendrick’s Natalie character (aka the baby of the group) is dumped via text message and she’s having a little meltdown. But right there at the airport while waiting for a flight, incomes Vera Fermiga’s Alex and George Clooney’s Ryan characters. They are much older and more experienced people and offer some of the most poignant, honest (albeit depressing), advice to the young Natalie.

Oh and I finally got them. I literally got them. Those words, that were coming out of Vera Fermiga’s mouth.

You know, honestly by the time you’re 34, all the physical requirements just go out the window. You secretly pray that he’ll be taller than you, not an asshole would be nice. Just someone who enjoys my company, comes from a good family. You don’t think about that when you’re younger. Someone who wants kids. Healthy enough to play with his kids. Please let him earn more money than I do, you might not understand that now but believe me, you will one day. Otherwise that’s a recipe for disaster. And hopefully, some hair on his head. I mean, that’s not even a deal breaker these days. A nice smile. Yeah, a nice smile just might do it.

There is certain amount of wisdom that comes with age, but I don’t think truer words about relationships have been uttered. And right now (after seeing the movie again) I see the point, I understand the meaning of those words. Maybe cause I’m now in my early 30’s and my expectations and general perspective about relationships have changed, or maybe it’s because that for the first time in my life I’m in a healthy relationship, but yeah… I understand this scene.

The funny thing is that my partner fits every single remark that Alex had about the „right guy“expectations that women in their 30’s set up for themselves. Every single one. And I could not be happier about that to tell you the truth. Oh and although it’s implied in this particular scene she kind of gave the impression that she settled out of fear. A fear about a life with loneliness.

That’s not the case with me however. It doesn’t feel like I’m settling, or lowering my standards. It just feels right. But the boxes are all checked indeed. In the physical requirements department I honestly think I hit the jack pot, cause Martin is one gorgeous, gorgeous man. Broad athlete shoulders (he’s an ex water polo player ladies), dark mysterious good looks, and I even adore his long eyelashes. I really do.

Let’s see…. What else… He’s taller than me and definitely not an asshole. He enjoys my company (and vice versa), comes from a good family and loves kids. And dogs too. He also earns more money than me, and has a nice set of hair on his head, and he has a beautiful smile. His smile actually made me fall in love with him.

But I get Natalie’s reasoning too. You see, people in their 20’s are more naïve than people in their 30’s. They’re still young and the world is their oyster. Three day hangovers are not on the doorstep just yet, and the world validates their youth, beauty, optimism and energy. People in their 30’s have other expectations and reasoning for them. For one, they are more confident, experienced and more excited about meal preps than going out for tequila shots on a Thursday evening. Also, they are constantly reminded that their biological clock is ticking, they are questioned (on a daily basis) by their relatives on why are not married yet on and they are assured (also on a daily basis) that some 19 year old student will be more than happy to do their job for a whole less money. So…

My point is… It’s not about settling. All of these things that Alex said… They are true, but they are not about settling.  It’s not about complacency or giving up on your dreams. It’s about growing up and embracing adulthood like a god damn adult. And BTW when someone asked Paul Newman why there hasn’t been any cheating affair in his decade’s long marriage to Joanne Woodward, he just simply said:

Why Go Out For Hamburgers When I Have Steak At Home?

I also have a stake at home, and frankly I adore it.