Filmsane

You’ve probably heard the news. The Academy Award winner Rachel Weisz is pregnant. Yes, the British actress is currently pregnant with her second child, first with her husband Daniel Craig.

They have been married since 2011, and both have children from previous relationships. Rachel has an 11 year old son, and Daniel has 25 year old daughter. But as I read about the happy news, I was terribly confused about the spiteful nature of the comments from the other non-celebrities. From us the fans, the readers and the general public.

The news about the pregnancy was reported on several influential media outlets, and one 99% of them, the comments were directed on the expectant mother’s age. Yes. Rachel is 48 years old, and is pregnant.

It’s not right. It’s not normal. How is this allowed?…

Those were some of the comments left under the posts regarding the pregnancy and I was shocked as much as I was conflicted to read them.

Is age just a number or is there anything more to it? I’m not a physician, but it’s been generally accepted within the medical community that a woman can conceive well in her 40’s. More often than not with the help of fertility treatments and IVF, but it’s not unheard of that she can conceive the natural way. So what’s the big deal right?

Even if it was through treatments. Rachel and Daniel are among the wealthiest and most successful people in the business. She has an Oscar and he’s James Bond for Christ sake! I’m sure they can afford it.

They can afford the best medical care during her pregnancy and afterwards too. The best and most qualified nannies money can buy if they chose to do so. But I as a childless woman of 31, I’m reminded of a couple of things. Sporadically through the years, I’ve been told to give birth in my 20’s. Oh yes… From several people actually. My mom had me when she was 32, so she never told anything like that out loud, but now as I get older I saw that she had some regrets about not having children sooner. Mostly because in our household, she was the most hands on parent. She was a stay at home mom, with much absent husband, and everything fell on her. The child minding, the household chores and everything in between.

But I remember having those exact words said by my friend and by my cousin too. My male cousin mind you.

Have kids when you’re younger. You’ll have more patience, and the time will just fly buy.

So, it had me thinking for a while there. My friend had her first and only child in her mid-30’s while my cousin, had 2 kids by the age of 25. The friend was expressing regrets and the cousin was gloating about it. So, it begs the question. Is it really that harder to raise a child in your 30’s and 40’s? I understand that for ordinary Joe and Joane, the big factor about this child apprehension in this is the economic situation, job stability and social security (unlike for Daniel and Rachel). But is the age a requirement on the child’s brining up for us the regular people? Do younger moms have more patience, nerves and focus than the older moms? I always thought that the younger mothers are the inexperienced, aloof, and immature, but could Ive been wrong the whole time?

I’m also reminded of something else. Of Diane Keaton’s interview with Oprah circa 2006. She mentioned that she adopted her 2 children in her 50’s and chose to be unwed single mother in the process. This got a huge gasp among the audience and a couple of raised eyebrows too, but i digress.

However, she also said one crucial sentence in that interview.

I have to stay alive for those kids.

Look, nobody knows when each and every one of us will die, but Diane became a senior citizen when her eldest child graduated from high school. I wonder if she had troubles raising those kids. Well, more than the rest of us anyway, non-Hollywood legends. That’s something that I assumed for all these years, because it was ingrained in me. If regular women in their 30’s had trouble raising a child, what chance the women in their 50’s have? Even if they are wealthy Oscar winners. Sure they can afford everything, but can they afford their nerves, attention and patience?

So… Is it just a number?

Or age is more than a number for expecting older parents? Is it a burden? Emotional, physical and economical?