Filmsane

Let’s talk about burnout, shall we? And weddings too. I know. One subject is much happier than the other, but in my case, they’re so intertwined and connected that I can’t help but feel that I’m stuck in a never-ending rut because of them. My own hellish version of limbo.

Well, as you may or may not know, I’m getting married in a month and a half. I could say that everything about the wedding is more or less done, arranged and bought but at the same time, it’s not. So much needs to be done until September 7 th and I’m beginning to have mild panic attacks almost on a weekly basis. No, I’m not Bridezilla and I don’t harass anyone around me with my wedding woes. Far from it. No, I’m suffering in silence like a god damn champ, but my writing is beginning to suffer because of it. I And I don’t know if it’s because of the exhaustion of the wedding planning, excitement or my anxiety I’m developing a bad case of burnout and I hate it. I’m indifferent, lazy, unmotivated, uninterested in writing here and I keep procrastinating the simple tasks. Like writing a god damn review. Yup. Watched Spider-Man Far From Home last week, and I still haven’t been able to write the review. Something that I previously enjoyed and loved doing. Before, the film review would have been done and published the very next day of watching the movie.

What’s wrong with me? World health organization defines burnout as a syndrome (a group of symptoms that co-occur) linked to long-term, unresolved, work-related stress, and it’s an accurate description… Well more or less. My wedding is not work-related per se, but it’s been a long term and stressful commitment which is yet to be determined if it’s successfully resolved.

I guess I’ll find out for sure on September 7th. On top of that, I’m also in the middle of a career change and to be fair my parents and in-laws are not making things easier for me with their meddling. I know that these things are excuses, but they’re also my valid points in my burnout reasoning. I’ve switched careers before, but I’ve never done a wedding before and I’m on uncharted territory there.

Not because I don’t know what I want for my wedding, but because I’m trying my best to please everyone around me in the process. And it’s god damn hard. Did you know that my mother has special demands regarding the music that is going to be played at my wedding? And the guest list? And the seating arrangements? And the catering? And my mother in law bombards me with millions of daily suggestions about my hairstyle on my big day? And the jewelry. And the shoes I’m going to be wearing. Right now all I do is smile and nod, but I’m screaming internally.

And all of this is really putting me off writing. Seriously. I’m just exhausted in the morning and exhausted at night to even try and touch the keyboard. I thought I was a pro at people-pleasing, but this is too much even for me. Sometimes I’ll sit down with the best intentions of writing, but I’ll just end up binging on Bon Apetting’s YouTube’s channel.  For 5 straight hours. Just to unwind and relax my foggy, exhausted brain.

Planning a wedding is not easy that’s for sure. But writing in the middle of all that wedding drama is a nightmare. What do you do in such cases? How do you find the motivation, the inspiration, and the drive to write when you are exhausted and stressed? I’d love to know. How to banish the burnout in time of the wedding season?