Filmsane

Academy award winner Goldie Hawn after 15 years of screen absence, has finally returned in the movie theaters with a new comedy. „Snatched“ is her latest project and the 71 year old actress is joined by the funny and talented Amy Schumer in the Jonathan directed action comedy. And while the movie career and personal life has been debated and examined in the media for quite some time now (her longtime relationship with fellow actor Kurt Russell in particular), one thing is not often praised enough. Her wisdom. The wisdom that 15 years after it was spoken, is still on point.

Let me explain.

In awe of the (then) latest movie release „The Banger Sisters“, Hawn and fellow co-star Susan Sarandon were among the guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show back in 2002. The talked and debated on various subjects and one particular theme was laid out on the open. Marriage. Now, both actresses at the time were in longtime relationships (Sarandon with actor Tim Robbins and Hawn with Russell) but opted against officiating their relationships and turning into a matrimonial union. Several things that Goldie said in her elaboration were amazing (eg: if someone completes you- you’re in trouble, cause no one can complete you but you) but one particular reason that she gave as a reason for marriage was the „AHA“ moment for me quite frankly. The wisdom i talk about in the intro of this post.

Money.

Money is the biggest problem with all of this. Because if every woman in this room was independent, and if she was someone who had her own money, her own understating of how to use it, and her own resources, marriage would take a very a very different view today. We don’t get to choose to be married. No, we GET to choose to be married. We get to make those decisions because we made our own money. It creates freedom. A base. You’ve created your root system and you’re able to stand on your own two feet and you don’t have to say – honey I saw the cutest little dress today. Do you think I can get it?

Those words really struck me even back then, and have been stuck in the back of my mind for the past 15 years. Why? Because growing up I saw the exact opposite. I grew up in a household in which my father was the main breadwinner in the family, and my mother was the housewife. She had no income and for the entire length of their marriage she had to beg for some money to buy everything. Basic utilities on one hand, and like Goldie said on the other… cute dresses she liked.

Now I understand that that was partly on how my father was raised (his father did just that to my dad’s mom and step mom) but for my dad particular it was also a form of control. Money was and still is a form of control for him. For years he would buy the foods, the drinks, the clothes that he liked and it wasn’t until I started earning my own money that I saw a change.

Money is truly the biggest problem and ultimately a set beck in every marriage. Some may say it’s lack of trust, lack of intimacy but I say it’s money. Cause money creates independence, freedom to choose and freedom to let go. Especially for women. In my mother’s case because of the fact she had no income, and was dependent on my dad’s paychecks she never had the courage to leave the marriage after years of physical abuse.

Now, Goldie had never had to worry about money (or lack of money to be precise) but sooo many women like my mom do. And the sad thing is that while I struggled with my domestic situation and the position that my mom was put for decades and decades- somehow those words got stuck when a wealthy Hollywood actress said them. Nevertheless. They did, and all I can say is THANK YOU Miss Hawn for those words of wisdom.

Along with my personal experiences and her kind words, I vow never to happen to me. Oh and I can’t hardly wait for Snatched to come into the theaters near me. But until it does… here is a reminder of those words on money and marriage that are still relevant now like they were 15 years ago.